With Game of Thrones Season 4 premiere in the books (read my review here) I wanted to take a moment to lay out the 5 things I'm most anticipating/hoping for this year.
The five things I most hope we get to see this season:
5. Dragons, please!
Can we see these fuckin' dragons fuck some shit up already, please?! One charred misogynistic slaver last year just further whet my appetite for seeing the world burn. Dany's liberation tour is cute and all, and I'm expecting it'll see her end up with a pretty sizable (and strategically significant) army, but I don't like waiting around anymore on these scaly, fire-breathing versions of Chekhov's gun.
4. Jamie Lannister being a badass.
He may have lost a hand, but I'm thinking we'll see at least a few serious flashes this season of the supposedly-brilliant swordsman who cut down The Mad King. This sister-banging, child-maiming, cousin strangling soldier shows an unexpected heart of gold in returning to save Brienne of Tarth and, in doing so, cements himself as a wonderfully interesting contradiction of a character. With his entire evil family now seemingly bent on rubbing dirt in the wounds he endured on their behalf, he's becoming even more sympathetic. Now I'm excited to see if--even without that legendary sword hand--he can live up to the extremely heavy billing he received as a warrior in seasons 1-3.
3. Ramsay gets what's coming to him.
Sure, Theon screwed the pooch bad when it came to trying to impress daddy Greyjoy. Instead of bringing himself and his family honor, his impudence cost him dearly. As far as I'm concerned Theon's given much more than his due recompense now, though, and the otherworldly sadism his tormentor, Ramsay Snow, displays is enough to test any non-sociopath's empathy limits. That said, the whole scenario has set up a delectably-intense opportunity for catharsis upon Yara's arrival. Knowing GoT, they'll turn this into a chance to torment us longer than we'd like, but eventually I'm banking on getting to see Ramsay squeal like a bitch, and man I'm going to love it.
2. Walder Frey's whole ugly family dies.
The lecherous old fuck and his entire homely brood need to answer for their betrayal of the Starks. Bran's foreboding tale about the Rat Cook couldn't say it any more plainly: "It wasn't for murder that the gods cursed the Rat Cook, or for serving the king's son in a pie. He killed a guest beneath his roof. That's something the gods can't forgive."
You hear that, Frey?
1. Joffrey getting bitch-slapped again.
Remember back in Season 1 when Tyrion bitch-slapped Joffrey's uber-punchable face? Didn't that just feel great? I need something like that to happen again. I know we're probably not going to get the ultimate satisfaction we crave--like seeing him slowly filleted alive, screaming for the comfort of his hopefully-also-painfully-dying cunt mother, while everyone he's hurt gets to watch and laugh--but seeing him made even slightly uncomfortable is amazing. Oh, and when it does come (it's coming, right?), his comeuppance will be CATHARTIC as FUCK. That's not going to happen this year, but hopefully someone will at least smack him around a bit again (Tywin, anyone? Jamie with that new metal hand?) to remind us how great that'll finally be.
That's my list, but there are plenty of things I had to leave off. What are you most hoping to see go down this season on GoT? Let me know in the comments or craft your own response list for posting and email it to me at neumdog@gmail.com.
Jeff Neuman
